Ups and Downs

So far I am doing so well with this whole new ‘eating healthily’ and trying my best to keep up the exercise and I really mean that… I’m trying my best.

It should be easy to just cut something out and replace it with something else right? You just don’t eat the other thing and then eat the new thing (or something like that)?

No, I have fallen off the waggon once or twice over the last week and it has upset me, made me feel sick (physically) and made me feel fat and like I should just give up on everything and be a fat slob who sits on the sofa moaning about how unfair the world is.

So what have I been binging on? 

Weird things actually… one of which is icing sugar and cake batter. I just whip up these quickly in a mug and sit there crying to myself about how life is so hard eating it with a spoon (hypothetically speaking). After I finish a spoonful or two I feel physically sick but I haven’t let myself be sick, just to remind myself how it feels when I fall off the wagon a bit.

I know some people like Deliciously Ella discourage you from counting calories. But I disagree with her on this hugely. Just because something is healthy doesn’t mean it is ok to eat lots of it. It means it is good for us in moderation and I need to track this and moderate my eating habits.

Yesterday (and the day before that) I did quite well…. I had two spoonfuls of cake batter and a bit of icing sugar and that was literally it when it comes to remind sugars and things that aren’t good for us. Otherwise I ate fruit / bulgar / veggies and a bit of tofu (oh and a little bit of bread but nothing to worry about).

I just wanted to write this blog so you all know that I am human and not some magical person who will loose 4 stone (56 pounds) and stay healthy forever. This is a hard mountain to climb and sometimes I am going to stop and rest for a moment and feel like turning around to go back to the comfort I once knew. But that just isn’t me. I am determined to succeed on this even if it takes until Christmas 2017.

Something else that I want to rant about quickly is the fact people post status on social media moaning about their bodies / foodie habits but seldom do anything about it. People stop doing this. It isn’t healthy for you, me or anyone else… I know you’re probably doing it to make yourself feel better and laugh at the situation at hand, but it just doesn’t do us any favours. Keep a positive mind and walk more, stand more, eat less and drink water! Thats what I do!

Anyway, just wanted to post this to remind everyone it isn’t easy but it will be in a few weeks time once I get into the swing of things and slowly but surely stop craving terrible sugary badness.


Healthy chocolate chai mousse 

I just made myself a chocolate chai mousse dessert as I got back from running and seriously needed a sugar fix! Instead of reaching for the jelly beans I reached for my Delciously Ella book and an avocado.

I found Ella’s recipe for chocolate mousse and instantly got to work! If you are doing something similar to me and don’t want to eat refined sugars or crap then I recommend trying this. It really did the trick and I’m no longer craving sweets! 

How did I make it? 

Well I halved Ella’s recipe as they’re all quite substantial and I can’t afford to be spending so much on dates every week! 

  1. 1 avocado 
  2. 2 bananas (super ripe)
  3. Cocoa powder (I didn’t have cacao nibs which she suggests)
  4. Maple syrup (it’s natural sugars!)
  5. A dollop of pure butter (I had no nut butter and don’t really like them except hazelnut!)
  6. Mix it all together in a food processor removing all the avocado / banana skin and scoop into a cup then sprinkle with chai seeds!


Lucy’s 5 minute dinner

I’m so far enjoying being healthier and trying to shift the wobble I’ve got going on round my front as well as trying to heal my tummy from the problems I have with it. Doing this has given me the opportunity to try new fun ingredients as well as cook with things I never thought I’d eat, let alone have in my kitchen!

Last night I cooked with bulgar wheat for the first time in my entire life and I’m completely in love with it!

It was 20:30 and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet so decided to whip up something quick with the ingredients I had in my cupboards.  I don’t usually like to eat late like this, but Jon and I were up working late and became memorised by a game of Lego chess (such a nerd).

So guys… This meal is entirely vegan and comes in under 250 calories. It also completely filled me up! 

I made it up as I went and honestly felt as creative and awesome as Deliciously Ella probably does on a daily basis so I wanted to show it off and give you all something to try! 

I call this meal…

Tofu and bulgar wheat salad (for short: YUM)

To start with I used the ingredients below that I had left in my fridge. I didn’t use everything I had, I just selected a few staple items that I love!


  1. Avocado 
  2. Cucumber 
  3. 1/2 yellow Pepper 
  4. Two tomatoes 
  5. Tender baby leaf salad

I chopped all these up and tossed them in some salt, pepper and onion seeds.
Hot food

  1.  I fried the tofu in some seasoning I have from china (completely vegan). Top tip for tofu: make sure your pan is very hot! You want to hear the tofu sizzle when you drop it in the pan. I do love tofu… yummy!
  2. I put 100g of bulgar wheat into a pan with some vegan stock (only a pinch), rinsed it off a couple of times and then left it on the hob with about 2cm of water above the bulgar wheat line.

After all this was done I simply put it all together in a bowl and ate it far too quickly because it was so scrummy!!If you have any awesome recipes like this or tried this please let me know! I love hearing from you all. X

The British are like moths

When the sun comes out we all go out and bask in its glory! If we are stuck in work or inside we feel like we are missing out on life and fun. I don’t know if this is because we don’t get much sun or see the blue skies much, but it’s completely true! 

I find sitting in the sun or walking around in it during the day gives me the ability to smile / laugh and enjoy life more. Vitamin D is super important and I make sure, (even at lunchtime during the week) I go outside at least once a day. 

Hyde park yesterday.

My favourite time of year is when the trees change. Spring and Autumn. The two are contrasting and beautiful, giving us some of the most romantic and spectacular colours of nature. I love going and sitting in a field in the middle of nowhere surrounded by the gentle breeze and tweeting of birds! That’s my favourite place to be when I’m stressed or want to relax! In London I tend to go to the nearest parks. For me that’s Holland Park or Hyde Park. I find a quiet spot and sit with a book or my tablet (usually blogging) and people watch! 

What do you do when the sun comes out?

Day one: getting fit!

I’ve decided to take this fitness lark seriously, do it properly and not mess about giving myself treats or making excuses for the copious amounts of medication I’m taking for everything imaginable! 

This morning started with a bowl of special K plain 30g plus lactose free milk and a cup of tea. I’m now sat in the doctors waiting for a blood test to check everything under the sun to make sure that there isn’t an underlying medical reason to the drastic weight gain. 

The rest of today is going to consist of enjoying the beautiful sun, walking about London and enjoying the warm weather as much as possible. 

One of the hardest things for me is stopping binge eating… I’m hoping documenting my struggles and triumphs on my blog will not only help me do this, (because you’ll all expect it) but also help others in a similar situation. I’m also using FitBit to help calculate my yoga / running / walking and most importantly food.

My favourite foodies that I’m following at the moment to help me along with ideas are Deliciously Ella and Madeleine Shaw (latter reccomended by my GP). 

Lunch today

Another aspect of my eating healthy is to ensure I’m getting the correct vitamins and minerals because I’m vegetarian. I have been eating badly so that means I’m not getting the right health benefits of food… So today is another focus on that and to ensure I do well! 
On a totally unrelated point, I came across some free books someone had left out on their wall on my way back from the doctors! How cute is that?

Have a lovely sunny day if you’re in the UK and a wonderful one to everyone else! X

I know I’m fat

Over the last four months I’ve somehow put on almost five stone in weight! I don’t think I look particularly obese, but I certainly am when I hit those scales! 

I’ve had a lot of horrible medicines since August last year. Roaccutane and a few others I’m not confident enough to mention right now. In December I had a coil fitted which I was hoping would answer my prayers and stop horrific periods and agonising days in bed! Well, it actually did, but recently I’ve found that my coils dropped and I’ve got to have a scan to make sure it’s not moved too much and potentially have it re-done! On top of that the doctors are sending me for copious amounts of blood tests to see why I’ve gained so much weight. It honestly isn’t normal to gain so much in such a short space of time unless I’ve got a hormone / thyroid problem. 

“I’m literally broken! Why can’t I be a lego character and swap a few bits for new ones? I mean those little yellow guys have it easy!” Me on a daily basis…

So what am I doing? I walk over 10,000 steps a day so surely the weight should just drop off? No. Only 5/10% of exercise goes towards weight loss! The best way to loose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle is 90% of what you eat. Yesterday I looked at what I’d eaten in the day (regslrdess of hitting 12,000 steps) and found I’d over eaten by 1,400 calories!? So maybe it’s no wonder I’ve gotten fat, perhaps it’s a mixture of a medical problem and the fact I’m a gluttonous pig? Who knows!

So anyway I’ve decided to do something about it. I’m going to deflect by 1,000 calories a day and run / yoga every week (at least twice). If I keep this up I’ll be back to my healthy size 10 by December! Can I just advise everyone, I’ve sat down with a doctor and gone through this so I know it’s acceptable and a healthy way to be. I’m hoping this will work for me but it might not for you! 

So my top ten requirements for shifting my fat…

  1. Don’t binge eat! 
  2. Count everything I eat and record it on Fitbit / fitness pal
  3. Run / yoga every week
  4. Say no to cakes / biscuits / bread and refined sugar! 
  5. Be confident! It will drop and I will get fitter
  6. Listen to my body
  7. Be patient. This won’t happen over night!
  8. Learn to love quinoa / buckwheat and lentils more!
  9. Stay under 1,400 calories a day!
  10. Feel hungry… when was the last time I felt hungry? Or you for that matter? I don’t remember!

So all of that seems super simple and easy right? I doubt it… so far today I’ve had a slice of toast for breakfast and mini quiche for lunch and am now only left with 500 calories for the day! That’s dinner and I’m done! I guess if I want to get fitter and feel comfortable then it’s the best way to do so! I’m also hoping that it will make me feel prettier and more confident in myself! 

A few things I’ve noticed since being over weight…

  1. My legs rub when I walk and it hurts…
  2. I have back fat! Seriously it’s horrible! 
  3. I feel heavy when I lift my legs or plank! 
  4. My face looks like the moon!
  5. I’ve got stretch marks all over my body…
  6. None of my clothes fit. So I live in leggings. This isn’t funny.
  7.  I feel hopeless and feel like I won’t shift it.
  8. I feel invisible or like everyone’s laughing at my fat
  9. My arms are squishy!
  10. My skins getting bad again.

These things are in no way shape or form good for my mental state and as such I now feel less confident and happy than I did before getting fat. This is personal to me and how I feel. I think it’s incredibly important to feel comfortable and confident in your skin and know when you’re you and when you are not!

This is a picture I have on Pinterest to help me remember that it is possible and I will do it! I wanted to post this blog just to show people I am only human and we have all got our internal struggles and challenges in life, but they can be achieved!

A kick up the butt!

Sometimes I find myself sat on my bed feeling hopeless and worried that I won’t get the career I want, can’t loose weight, shouldn’t cry when I’m happy and shouldn’t laugh when I’m sad… But the reality is I can get the career I want, I can and will loose weight, I cry when I’m happy and I laugh when I’m sad and that’s ok because it’s who I am! 

I’m sure you have all been in the situation where you tell your friends or colleagues a dream or ambition you have and you’re laughed into the ground. You’re stone walled and told it’s impossible? Well, I disagree with them. If you want to achieve your dreams you can and will! Even if you want to become the tooth fairy, you bloody well can! But I will warn you… going knocking on doors dressed as a fairy asking for teeth might get you arrested, but my point is you can do it!