What happened to being selfless? 

This topic is something I’ve been thinking about for sometime. It relates to every single person including myself. Why do we all do things that upset other people, animals or even ourselves at times but on purpose?

I am not talking about those inevitable disagreements we have, where I think it’s better to be vegetarian and you to consume animals. Or saying no to the big issue seller, because we simply can’t afford to get one every day! I’m talking about the jobs we have created for ourselves as humans, those spiteful little things we say and do, or perhaps even knowingly do something without caring about the consequence upon those we love around us.

This post came about as I’ve been thinking of characters, people and friends and family, we have all played victim to a spiteful word or thought and even action. But why?

Another thing that I have come to notice is the horrific boredom most of the people I know get out of their jobs. They’re relieved when the weekend comes around and crying by Sunday night. Why do we put ourselves through these things? It’s unkind to ourselves and our behaviour created from the feeling of negativity is then felt by all of those around us like a magnetic force sucking the life from our souls.

Take charge, look for the positive, say happy and positive things about your day at work, laugh, be cheeky and smile! If you don’t love what you do, find something else, if someone around you is selfish all the time, make new friends! 

Be braver!

Smile at the world, accept that there are people out there who do nasty things and we can’t always change what they do, but we can change how we respond! If someone you know is unhappy or negative, talk to them. Tell them how you’re feeling and be kind about it. If they don’t understand walk away!

Kindness, self love and caring is an enormous power in this world – one we are starting to loose touch with. I vote we stop voting for corruption and ignorance and vote for humanity and peace.

Go with the flow then jump right in!

Just go with the flow. Things will come to you. J.K didn’t write Harry Potter till she was 28. I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged about this before. I’m having a really great week this week, things are going well and its been fun, my confidence is up and I’ve finally decided that I still have no bloody idea where to go next with my story.

I’m back in my little coffee shop. Sat with my chai, MacBook and a dark chocolate cookie (shh, I’m supposed to be on a low carb diet, I’ll go for a run later that’ll cancel it out…). It’s so warm outside, so I’ve taken a seat by the huge glass window right under the air-conditioning. It’s bliss. I’m sure like you, there are moments in your writing and working lives where you have no idea what to do next. My best advice is to just be, do and enjoy. Do not over think things and let life take you where it will.

So, where am I at right now with my story? Well, I’ve got a plot and ideas on what will happen. It’s probably going to change entirely from a dark spooky book into something more magical and funny… I’m going to take inspiration from my favourite authors and old-fashioned stories, life experiences and from observing how other people behave and treat one another. So in the far off future when I come to publishing something and you think a character is based on you, it might well be. But at the same time, I am also taking my own dreams, childhood imagination and games I played with my brother to transform it into something that is entirely and only me.

“I remember I used to half believe and wholly play with fairies when I was a child. What heaven can be more real than to retain the spirit-world of childhood, tempered and balanced by knowledge and common-sense.” Beatrix Potter

I’ve now finished my chai (far faster than most do, I don’t know what it is about me but I don’t seem to be able to sip, I drink in gulps and indulge in what I have. That’s probably why I get so frustrated with pistachio nuts. They take forever to open for only a second of joy… So I tend to open them all up and scoop them in five at a time rather than one. That way I enjoy the flavour and experience more than just dipping my toe into the ocean, jump right in.

Coffee shops and laptops

At University, I used to go and sit in coffee shops or the Oxford Union to ‘work’ on my essay. In all honesty, I spent the majority of my time people watching, wondering what was going on in their head. I would wonder where their education was taking them, even wonder who they were and make up stories about their perfect (or not so in some cases) lives.

Now I am older, I hear the echo of ‘these days will be the best of your life’ in my ear almost daily. It’s true, I miss university immensely, the false sense of responsibility I had and the yearly loan and scholarship that appears in my bank account was really something that I look back on and took for granted.

I think something for all university students to be aware of when graduating is that you will end up in a sales or recruitment job if you don’t care too much about what you want to do. I am not saying this is at all about thing, as there can be a lot of money in those industries as I have found out myself, but they aren’t always secure and are most certainly not the friendliest of places to wind up in (unless you get lucky).

Today I had a sense of purpose, I wanted to do something that could change my path and open up a new door to my future. I suppose I have felt a little lost and at liberty to do things that please other people, I worry constantly about the things we all worry about on a daily basis: money, my weight, the future and my career. But mostly I worry about not affording a dog or a house by the time I’m 30. That is a huge aim for me, and something I have always wanted to achieve.

starbucks-chai-latte

So, why coffee shops and laptops? Well it’s simple. That is exactly where I am now. I’m sat in a stereotypical coffee shop sipping on my foamy chai latte tapping away on my MacBook Air. Let’s be honest, if I can afford these luxuries, should I really be worrying about the above? Probably not.

So why did I come here? I came here for some inspiration, to motivate myself and basically to push myself to write something, which I did. I wrote two pages and sent off an important email, as well as stopping myself from eating the entire content of my cupboard, or strolling around Whole Foods telling myself I really really need that over priced vegan chocolate fudge cake with fat burning properties (I’m sure that is a thing?).

Today I have noticed on my people watching expedition (and productive afternoon I like to think), that I am completely ordinary, but in so many ways I am completely different. I’m sat here with an oversized jumper on my hair curly and far too long with my cute little Cath Kidston shoes on sat in a what I call, relaxed way on the squishy sofa provided to me by Starbucks.

The lady sat opposite me opened her phone and instantly showed me not only her insecurities but her vanity and nervousness as well. She turned the camera to selfie-mode after having a quick look around to check no-one was watching her. She applied her lipstick with a slightly shaking hand, fluffed up her hair and looked up with a fear on her face as the gentlemen she was meeting walked in. He made light of the situation and asked her if she was posing for the camera. She awkwardly explained she was just checking to see if she had something in her eye, which we all knew was a little white lie.

It’s moments like this that I sit here, notice these little things people do and realise that no matter what we worry about, even if for me its writers block right now, we all have our little quirks in life and I think a personality oozing with confidence is much more attractive than a face oozing with Mac.

I’ve got a few ideas for characters in my book now, settings and places. My book however, dark, funny, cute or romantic it might be is just that, mine. So unlike the lady with the lipstick, I’m going to make sure that I sip my coffee and write my book for me, without the worry that someone might be watching me and judging the way I sit on my cosy Starbucks chair.

 

A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.

If you had asked me ten years ago what I’d be doing at 25, I couldn’t tell you. If you’d asked me five years ago what is be doing at 25, I’d have assumed living in London. If you’d asked me last year, I’d have assumed living with Giulia and Akos in our cute West London flat. 

As it stands I’m now in my own flat with my boyfriend, trying to write my first proper book / novel, whatever you want to call it, which I think is quite fantastic. 
I don’t want to live in London forever. I find the city can be draining and tiresome, it isn’t somewhere I see myself raising a family or settling down properly. I find it can be difficult to be inspired to write in London. I’m surround by houses and noise, which is de-motivating and often decide it’s better to do other things. But then, on the other hand, I find that it can be the best place to people watch, learn and explore, the best things for an inspired wannabe writer.

I’ve been in the country this weekend with my family and pets. It’s been great to relax and run through fields playing with the dogs, exploring flower fields with my Mum and just being able to breathe outside without congestive fumes entering my lungs! I find things like this breathe life into me and regenirate me. Whereas the city drains and often exhausts me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love living in London. It’s exciting and I’ve experienced a lot since being there. Just for me, people and busy cities don’t really excite me or energise me like a mountain or open lake would.

Some advice, if I can give you any in my short few weeks of attempting to become a writer is that (most) experiences are good as they give you inspiration to write and explore your inner stories and thoughts to create something magical.

So all in all, you need to remember not to give up. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing in life, you can always make time to write if that’s what you love, or whatever else you want to do. Being busy is an excuse for procrastination!

The birth of a novel

I have managed to write more than I have done in years. I have lots of drafts of different books all over the place, hard-drives, memory sticks and even notes on my phone. I have scribbles written in books, on my iPad, pretty much anywhere I can find really.
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After my blog last week, I started to write my first story. I’ve written less than 250 words but they are the best 250 words I have written (non-academically) in a long time.

This story is based on nothing more than a dream. I have some of the weirdest, most vivid dreams you could imagine and at times I am confused by what happened in the dreams and why on earth I was dreaming certain things.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. I don’t recall much of it but it was based around a society where everyone was in an almost ‘regimental’ Hunger Games or Divergent sort of society. I think this was due to the fact I had just had my phone buzz about a million times to tell me that a terror attack had taken place on London Bridge, alongside many from friends asking me if I was okay.

UnknownIt’s really cool to think about stories, where people have gotten them from and how they have actually taken the time to sit down and share them with the world. I’m current sat directly in front of my bookcase in the living room looking at hundreds of stories that have been cultivated by authors for the enjoyment of others. It’s incredible. There are so many talented writers in this world and so many people with such amazing stories that go untold because they are scared to fail or scared that their story isn’t worth bothering with.

 

Procrastination

Hi everyone!
I know I haven’t posted on here in forever, so I wanted to just write a little update on things and let you all know what is going on.

The reason I haven’t posted in a while is because I don’t really feel that my blog fits into a category and now reads like a jumble of rambling words.

Recently (and as you will see from a past blog I wrote on it) I have been really struggling to do something I want to do which is writing! I have wanted to write a book for a long time now but I get unmotivated by the fact it doesn’t pay the bills, that my writing is different to everyone else and that I just don’t think it would be worth it. There are a lot of people who have unmotivated me by telling me the statistics of writers who get somewhere, the statistics of everything really and tell me to just find a nice comfortable job and settle. The problem is though, I am not good at settling. I don’t want that boring job that depresses me and makes me sigh every morning. I want to do something I love and that is make people smile and fall into magical worlds or places to remove them from an otherwise seemingly bleak reality.

For me right now I just want to write. I have a list of stories / dreams and ideas that I want to tell the world, even if it is just me who ends up listening. I have a burning desire to tell my story and create that world and place for someone to fall into. I guess I find it hard to start this as I often get comments such as ‘LOL, what you want to write the next Harry Potter?’ and ‘Do you know how many people want to do this, you have dyslexia and little income as it is, put your time into something more beneficial’.

I am sure I’m not alone thinking this, according to Forbes, over a million books are published (in the USA alone) yearly, and the majority are self-published with as little as 250 copies being sold in their lifetime. Depressing for those of us who have all these little things tapping away at our glass brains, slowly shattering the thoughts and imaginations of our generation.

To procrastinate I am doing other things instead of blogging, writing and at times even stop reading. I have been on EBay, walking, watching Netflix or starring woefully out the window expecting something magical to happen to help me get my motivation back.

Most people would say that this is the best time of my life, I’ve graduated with a fantastic degree from a fantastic university and have a brilliant life and no commitments… Sure, but what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t just fall into a corporate job time after time, sit in an office and wait for a huge promotion due to all my hard work, or hope that an exciting and fun opportunity will come up, as I will be sat here till I die.

So, I’m going to try my best to focus on writing and reading more. I am going to blog more about this and try to focus my interests in one direction instead of jumble them up all over the place. I have a brain full of thoughts, ideas and passions as well as interests, and it’s impossible to share them all with the world (except for on Instagram, but shh).

Is anyone else stuck in a similar situation? What do you do to get yourself out of it?

 

Historical sites

Somewhere a lot of people forget to visit is Avebury! It’s one of the most beautiful historical sites in the whole of the UK and yet, people flock to Stonehenge instead! 

This baffles me, I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful and fascinating place, but my little village is something quite spectacular! The one difference and possibly reason why Stonehenge is more desirable is beside of the sheer size and ability it would have taken to move the stones, let alone put them on top of one another! 

There are so many wonderful places in the UK to visit, so don’t limit yourself, try finding the hidden gems, treasures and undiscovered wonders of this pretty country. Here are a few places I’ve been too recently that, if you’re planning a trip I suggest you visit! 

Wetlands near Hammersmith
Martha and I exploring the coast!
The coast of England, Old Harry’s!
Avebury Stone circle
Avebury, the rooted tree!