I know I haven’t posted on here in forever, so I wanted to just write a little update on things and let you all know what is going on.
The reason I haven’t posted in a while is because I don’t really feel that my blog fits into a category and now reads like a jumble of rambling words.
Recently (and as you will see from a past blog I wrote on it) I have been really struggling to do something I want to do which is writing! I have wanted to write a book for a long time now but I get unmotivated by the fact it doesn’t pay the bills, that my writing is different to everyone else and that I just don’t think it would be worth it. There are a lot of people who have unmotivated me by telling me the statistics of writers who get somewhere, the statistics of everything really and tell me to just find a nice comfortable job and settle. The problem is though, I am not good at settling. I don’t want that boring job that depresses me and makes me sigh every morning. I want to do something I love and that is make people smile and fall into magical worlds or places to remove them from an otherwise seemingly bleak reality.
For me right now I just want to write. I have a list of stories / dreams and ideas that I want to tell the world, even if it is just me who ends up listening. I have a burning desire to tell my story and create that world and place for someone to fall into. I guess I find it hard to start this as I often get comments such as ‘LOL, what you want to write the next Harry Potter?’ and ‘Do you know how many people want to do this, you have dyslexia and little income as it is, put your time into something more beneficial’.
I am sure I’m not alone thinking this, according to Forbes, over a million books are published (in the USA alone) yearly, and the majority are self-published with as little as 250 copies being sold in their lifetime. Depressing for those of us who have all these little things tapping away at our glass brains, slowly shattering the thoughts and imaginations of our generation.
To procrastinate I am doing other things instead of blogging, writing and at times even stop reading. I have been on EBay, walking, watching Netflix or starring woefully out the window expecting something magical to happen to help me get my motivation back.
Most people would say that this is the best time of my life, I’ve graduated with a fantastic degree from a fantastic university and have a brilliant life and no commitments… Sure, but what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t just fall into a corporate job time after time, sit in an office and wait for a huge promotion due to all my hard work, or hope that an exciting and fun opportunity will come up, as I will be sat here till I die.
So, I’m going to try my best to focus on writing and reading more. I am going to blog more about this and try to focus my interests in one direction instead of jumble them up all over the place. I have a brain full of thoughts, ideas and passions as well as interests, and it’s impossible to share them all with the world (except for on Instagram, but shh).
Is anyone else stuck in a similar situation? What do you do to get yourself out of it?